SLJ's lyrics and poetry

Subject: SLJ's lyrics and poetry Mon Nov 17, 2014 2:00 pm

Between 2009 and 2013, I wrote a ton of lyrics and poetry, most of which I'm pretty proud of. I've picked out some of the better ones to share with you. Only gonna post two right now, but I'll put up more later.

This is the reviews forum, and constructive criticism (or w/e) is more than welcome. Thanks for reading. Enjoy.
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4/12

DOOR

God, my head hurts so bad
But not as much as my soul

I'm heading down a dark corridor
With only a dead-end in sight, but...
Is that a door?

Sometimes I lose my feet
And next thing I know
I've taken forty steps back
And returned to where I began
My comfort-zone

But the bliss of this place is an illusion
Where I'm constantly distracted
By a false solution
Told I'm doing fine, that I'm winning
But I'm losin', losin'

Losing myself to myself
Putting my conscience high on a shelf
To be forgotten

God, my head hurts so bad
But not as much as my soul

When I stand, if I stand
To begin again down that dark hallway
It will be the brightest day
As that place becomes a ghost

When I reach that door, if it exists
I will open it with a bit of effort
But nothing compared to the thousand steps
It will take to have the knob within my grasp

Anxiety, pain, and fear are no longer
I am home
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12/11

I SAY

Hating, when anyone else would love
And I'm fading, out of the minds of everyone
They've all had enough

I say I'm growing
Say I'm doing fine
I say I'm happy
Say my head's in line
Why can't I say I'm lieing?

Shooting, for a life where I'm done
Done losing, where anyone else would've won
Wondering, if nothing ever is enough

I say I'm trying
Say I'm confident
I say I'm okay
Say I'm not scared
Say all this bullshit I say
Why can't I say I'm dieing?
And why can't I say I don't really care?
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© 2009-2014 Logan J. Simar

Subject: Re: SLJ's lyrics and poetry Tue Nov 18, 2014 7:02 am

Slj, I'm gonna start with the Door lyrics. I gotta say I love it. I could picture it both visually and emotionally. Every verse has a dark depth in it, a struggle throughout the whole lyrics, a struggle which is more or less hidden in all of us. How many humans aren't living a lie they've maybe even told themselves is how it's supposed to be. You start with the corridor and the door you see in the end but it seems so far away. Your journey towards that door, with a few failures as you say with those steps back, is being told in a way I think many people regardless of situation can relate to. You wrap it up nicely by actually reaching that door, spreading hope - that it's possible. A bit like hitting rock bottom to find the truth beneath the surface of everything and then have the clear mind to go through all the shit you now realise is fake that was somewhat your reality before. And when you've made it through all of that, you can put that life behind you... At least that's what first sprang to mind when I read it.

The language was simple to read and yet created a rich visual.

About I Say, I say it sounds like a desperate cry for attention, for help. It feels like the text of a teenager, I guess because of its many questions which probably especially many teenager ask themself when going through a dark moment in their lives or even just everyday. The loss of hope reach through and if I guessed I'd say this text was written before Door, at least I hope so. I do get a bit emotional when reading it 'cause it makes me think of a few situations where all of those sentences fit in, not that I myself have thought it about myself but I'm pretty sure others I know have thought that about themselves. For one thing, a guy with a heavy drug addiction, having lost the love of his life, feeling alone in the world as he was moving away or being pushed away from everybody he'd ever loved. I'm pretty sure he felt that there weren't anyone who really cared, and sometimes even I'd had enough, pretended it wasn't there. Another one with a condition since birth, who struggles everyday - I've heard about the details of that struggle for many years. It gets to a point when you skim it through, like being immune to it eventually. Not that I don't care. But that's only so much someone can take in before it hurts oneself too much as well - and as I Say is your words, I'm now guessing they're meant to have been thought by you and not by a friend of yours - if so I believe you already recognise what I've just told you, if not, know that nobody really stopped caring but were just protecting themself when not listening to you, verbally or your silent cries for help. It's not an excuse, but it's human (which on the other hand excuse everything on this world I guess). It must be hard to love when you don't get any affection or caring back. Maybe they would if they had the energy to, if they weren't afraid to bring that uncomfortable subject up? So you're saying your fine.. Maybe you're too selfish to let anybody help you. Your doing it for them. Your lieing for them, you don't want to cause any trouble, don't want them to feel bad for your issues. You hate it, because love is making you do that. Will it kill you? It scares the shit out of you, because you don't really want to die. That door in the corridor is out of reach for you at this point. So you feel no hope. You say you don't really care but it's just because you have no hope for the future. You haven't really met that rock bottom beneath the surface yet. Haven't gotten a clear mind yet. Or you wouldn't be saying this bullshit about you not being able to reach through to life. You just lacked the confidence because you didn't make what everybody else was doing fine, as you said yourself.

I'm obviously not an authorised shrink or trying to be, this is just my thoughts on the lyrics and one of the best, no... the best comlliment I can give a text is that it brings out thoughts and emotions, which yours obviously did. They don't go unnoticed, thanks for sharing and sorry I'm not coming with more "arcitecture"-like comments on the lyrics.

Just checking - you censured bullshit by hand..? (rethorical question as I'll obviously have answered myself with this post. Don't think I've made any censors to this site.

Subject: Re: SLJ's lyrics and poetry Tue Nov 18, 2014 10:13 am

RockRosen wrote:: Slj, I'm gonna start with the Door lyrics. I gotta say I love it. I could picture it both visually and emotionally. Every verse has a dark depth in it, a struggle throughout the whole lyrics, a struggle which is more or less hidden in all of us. How many humans aren't living a lie they've maybe even told themselves is how it's supposed to be. You start with the corridor and the door you see in the end but it seems so far away. Your journey towards that door, with a few failures as you say with those steps back, is being told in a way I think many people regardless of situation can relate to. You wrap it up nicely by actually reaching that door, spreading hope - that it's possible. A bit like hitting rock bottom to find the truth beneath the surface of everything and then have the clear mind to go through all the shit you now realise is fake that was somewhat your reality before. And when you've made it through all of that, you can put that life behind you... At least that's what first sprang to mind when I read it.

The language was simple to read and yet created a rich visual.

I can honestly and proudly say that this is one of my best lyrics. Since writing it about 2 years ago, I've yet to hear anyone say anything about it. Glad you like it. Also, you seem to understand the message 100%.

Quote :: About I Say, I say it sounds like a desperate cry for attention, for help. It feels like the text of a teenager, I guess because of its many questions which probably especially many teenager ask themself when going through a dark moment in their lives or even just everyday. The loss of hope reach through and if I guessed I'd say this text was written before Door, at least I hope so. I do get a bit emotional when reading it 'cause it makes me think of a few situations where all of those sentences fit in, not that I myself have thought it about myself but I'm pretty sure others I know have thought that about themselves. For one thing, a guy with a heavy drug addiction, having lost the love of his life, feeling alone in the world as he was moving away or being pushed away from everybody he'd ever loved. I'm pretty sure he felt that there weren't anyone who really cared, and sometimes even I'd had enough, pretended it wasn't there. Another one with a condition since birth, who struggles everyday - I've heard about the details of that struggle for many years. It gets to a point when you skim it through, like being immune to it eventually. Not that I don't care. But that's only so much someone can take in before it hurts oneself too much as well - and as I Say is your words, I'm now guessing they're meant to have been thought by you and not by a friend of yours - if so I believe you already recognise what I've just told you, if not, know that nobody really stopped caring but were just protecting themself when not listening to you, verbally or your silent cries for help. It's not an excuse, but it's human (which on the other hand excuse everything on this world I guess). It must be hard to love when you don't get any affection or caring back. Maybe they would if they had the energy to, if they weren't afraid to bring that uncomfortable subject up? So you're saying your fine.. Maybe you're too selfish to let anybody help you. Your doing it for them. Your lieing for them, you don't want to cause any trouble, don't want them to feel bad for your issues. You hate it, because love is making you do that. Will it kill you? It scares the shit out of you, because you don't really want to die. That door in the corridor is out of reach for you at this point. So you feel no hope. You say you don't really care but it's just because you have no hope for the future. You haven't really met that rock bottom beneath the surface yet. Haven't gotten a clear mind yet. Or you wouldn't be saying this bullshit about you not being able to reach through to life. You just lacked the confidence because you didn't make what everybody else was doing fine, as you said yourself.

I believe I Say came about a year before Door. In fact, during a time of heavy drug use and depression. You're also correct in saying that I hadn't (and never have) hit rock bottom, though it often felt as if I had back in those days. And on the flipside, I don't feel I've reached that door yet, though I'm sure I will one day.

Quote :: I'm obviously not an authorised shrink or trying to be, this is just my thoughts on the lyrics and one of the best, no... the best comlliment I can give a text is that it brings out thoughts and emotions, which yours obviously did. They don't go unnoticed, thanks for sharing and sorry I'm not coming with more "arcitecture"-like comments on the lyrics.

No, but I really do appreciate everything you had to say here. Sounds like you experience much of the same emotions that I do when reading these, which is something I strive for when writing my lyrics. Thank you for giving them a read and you reply. Thank you very much.

Quote :: Just checking - you censured bullshit by hand..? (rethorical question as I'll obviously have answered myself with this post. Don't think I've made any censors to this site.

I copied it from another site I had posted it to, where it was censored. Fixed it.

Subject: Re: SLJ's lyrics and poetry Tue Nov 18, 2014 11:04 am

These three are all from mid-2010, which was really when I started to find my voice and began experimenting with different styles and approaches to writing. Enjoy. cyclops

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5/10

AWAKE YET?

Are you awake yet?
Are you awake yet?
'Cause we are all set
To get outta here

Still you try to fake it
But you cannot shake it
This pain you feel everyday

And we're off
Whether you follow or not
Had enough
Is this what you've fought for?

You're left behind
But I know you'll do just fine
When all is said and done
You'll be ready when you're ready
To get the hell outta here

And we're off
Whether you follow or not
Had enough
Is this worth fighting for?
This is what you've fought for
What you get out of bed for

You're awake and
Done faking
You're awake and
Done faking
You're awake
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5/10

EVEN IF IT'S NO GOOD

Lie - light your way
Ki - Keep moving
And never stop, even if it's worthless

She - she's a sheep
She - she's asleep
Just let her sleep, even if the dreams aren't right

And even if it's no good
It's good enough for me
Even if shouldn't screams should
I'm right where I SHOULD BE!

Me - meet my demise
Sigh - sign to go on
DEFY!... AND LIE... LIGHT YOUR WAY!

And even if it's no good
It's good enough for me
Even if shouldn't screams should
I'm right where I SHOULD BE!

Got everyone in ah, now
Like never before, now
HOLY COW!
Got everyone in ah, now
Like never before, now
HOLY SHIT!

And even if it's no good
It never is anyway
Even if every fucking shouldn't SCREAMS SHOULD!
I will not go away

And even if it's no good
It's good enough for me
Even if shouldn't screams should
I'm right where I should be
Today, I'm where I should be
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6/10

24 HOURS

This place
Land of the ignorant devil
That face
Haunting me on another level
Never
Never again will I be the victim

I will not be your victim
I'm not one to be picked on

In 24 hours, can't believe how much I've lost
Won the battle, but at what cost?
It's like a one-sided coin toss
And you just happened to call heads
But believe me, you will tell no tales
In 24 hours, everything's gone to hell

A race
To the tip-top of the food chain
Make haste
Or I may find myself slain

I will not die like a bitch, son
I'm not one to be picked on

In 24 hours, can't believe how much I've lost
Won the battle, but at what cost?
It's like a one-sided coin toss
And you just happened to call heads
But believe me, you will tell no tales
In 24 hours, everything's gone to hell

I will not live this way
Being scared every day
I will not live this way
One must go so one may stay
And I will not live this way

A chase
But the tables have turned
Displaced
You better be concerned
Never
Never again will I be the victim

Next 24 hours, your existance will be lost
I don't give a fuck 'bout the cost
Next 24 hours, you're going straight to hell

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2009-2014 Logan J. Simar

Subject: Re: SLJ's lyrics and poetry Tue Nov 18, 2014 1:04 pm

SLJTheOmniscient wrote:: I can honestly and proudly say that this is one of my best lyrics. Since writing it about 2 years ago, I've yet to hear anyone say anything about it. Glad you like it. Also, you seem to understand the message 100%.

I believe I Say came about a year before Door. In fact, during a time of heavy drug use and depression. You're also correct in saying that I hadn't (and never have) hit rock bottom, though it often felt as if I had back in those days. And on the flipside, I don't feel I've reached that door yet, though I'm sure I will one day.

No, but I really do appreciate everything you had to say here. Sounds like you experience much of the same emotions that I do when reading these, which is something I strive for when writing my lyrics. Thank you for giving them a read and you reply. Thank you very much.

Well I'm glad I could confirm that you've managed to mediate what you wanted. I sincerely hope that you'll find the strength and be open minded enough (to see your possibilities) to grasp that door nob as soon as possible. But obviously it wont be until you wholeheartedly have chosen to accept to leave behind your (to be) former truth and life behind you and there's no one who can do that for you. I'm also thinking that the thought of that door being a way out of something also means that it's a door that leads into something else: a new corridor with another door close or far away. And after that another corridor and so on. I believe it's important not to think that there'll be a sanctuary room and that everything will be perfect behind that first door, as expectations could let one down hard. If we want to stretch it so far we could say the corridors symbolize periods and levels in life. I don't think we'll walk into a room with no other door until we're dead. It's important to think that all of those corridors may not be seen as a struggle though - hopefully most will be pleasant, think of it as recess, you're having a good time. You live your life without danger for yourself or others. You may walk into an open locker and feel hurt, embarrassed, lost, depressed for a moment but we'd not have good times without those moments (let's not confuse these locker bumps with the dark corridors). And those dark corridors, think of them as if they're in a school corridor as with the lockers (not that school is bad, that's the point). It might be painful or hard but you'll learn from it (how? it'll add a dimension to your life, in your case one step down) and be able to use it and hopefully take advantage of it in the future. I'd hate not to have experienced the unfortunate things I have, even if they're nothing compared with others' but that's not the point. I'm thinking that I in one sense is fortunate to have walked through slightly darker corridors (even if I'm not saying I know what you're going through) or I wouldn't have that perspective in life, and the lesser perspectives one have, the lesser does one see in and of the world I believe. It's about empathy or self awareness. Even though ofc, by seeing that perspective, I'm missing the perspective of someone who hasn't been through any such thing (if you don't remember how you thought before going through that corridor). Wow... I'm really drifting off here. Got caught up in it.

Anyway. I'll have a look at the other lyrics you posted.

Quote :: Just checking - you censured bullshit by hand..? (rethorical question as I'll obviously have answered myself with this post. Don't think I've made any censors to this site.

SLJTheOmniscient wrote:: I copied it from another site I had posted it to, where it was censored. Fixed it.

Haha, I don't mind you censoring - as long as it's in writing. I mean:

They've slaughtered this song with censoring! I know it's not the first time I'm bringing this up (well here I guess it is). The point isn't to be cool as if it'd be cool to swear etc but for me the point of swearing is a way (not saying there aint others) of putting more power to the feelings of the sentence, and if it isn't even aloud in songs which is a form of art, then where? Rhetorical question I guess, not meant directly to you Slj.

Subject: Re: SLJ's lyrics and poetry Tue Nov 18, 2014 1:58 pm

You said you were writing between 2009-2013, why not anylonger?

Awake Yet?
I get the feeling that you're "talking to yourself". That the one speaking is trying to talk sense to you, provoke you to make you see what situation you're in. You probably already know it. You'll be ready when you're ready, reminds me of what I said in the previous post about you being the only one who can decide when you can put your heart and soul into accepting to move forward in any way. I'm hoping you're refering to the hope again, that you can get out of there - out of the darkness. But there's something, the somewhat annoying and scary feeling that you'll be left alone to figure out when you feel ready, and that the voice - being another person or several persons - don't know what else to do. Or, that the voice is a voice in your head, telling you to let go of for ex the drugs - if I may - by fleeing your life... You question what you have that is worth fighting for, not seeing life as a possibility in itself to be worth fighting for 'cause what kind of life is that in the situation you might think? The fight isn't for life, the fight is against what's keeping you from living your life in a constructive way, which makes life seem like a struggle. You say you're awake in the end - I'd hope it's meaning you can now see clear in a positive way, that you've reached that door knob and can look behind you at the foggy fake mess that surrounded your way of thinking before. But I get the feeling you wake up from the need of trying to hide away your pain - to fake that you're fine. And if that realisation is constructive or destructive I cannot say for sure but I'm leaning against it at least being liberating.

Even if it's no good
I can notice that you're experimenting with how you shall sound here, and I get a heavier Linkin Park vibe by the clues I get what comes to the capital letters and stuttering beginnings (I like that they form words of their own, such as sigh - sign). There's also a lot of rhymes in here and some may feel a bit forced - such as sheep and asleep. Is sheep a metaphor for something here? I really like the part:

And even if it's no good
It never is anyway
Even if every fucking shouldn't SCREAMS SHOULD!
I will not go away

And even if it's no good
It's good enough for me
Even if shouldn't screams should
I'm right where I should be
Today, I'm where I should be

It's a "cheerful” pepping song and I get the feeling "fock, I really did make it regardless of what ya'll thought! Don't diss where I'm at now, if you think this isn't great then you haven't the dimensions I have" I'm not saying that's what the lyrics is saying but I just get that feeling of revanche and that it's overall positive. IF, because there's always an if isn't there, it isn't to be interpreted that you think you belong in the misery - that that is a good enough place for you to be in because that's what you deserve. Which matches up with Lie - light your way, as if you have to fake the pain away again. I like that it can be interpreted in both ways and therefor also attract more people depending on which situation/corridor they're in. I also like it because it mediates satisfaction, and it could be both dangerous if you're getting stuck in something that isn't good for you or if it makes you think that you have nothing else to strive for, but also just because it seems like it's such a pressure on the fact that things always have to be able to get better and then I think you stop valuing what you have in the moment. It's a bit confusing with the "she" in the lyrics though, I'm wondering who she is but it's only mentioned in the beginning and doesn't get a follow up, unless I'm missing something?

24 Hours
Haven't missed it, but I'll come back to you on it.

Do you have any recordings you'd like to share?

Subject: Re: SLJ's lyrics and poetry Wed Nov 19, 2014 1:52 pm

The writer of these lyrics seems very depressed and frustrated with his/her life and the people in his/her life and there does seem to be low self esteem running through most of these lyrics. Maybe the writer should move from where he/she lives to another place, somewhere that people will have more empathy with the writer and maybe a similar view on life, the people around the writer now either just don't care or they don't listen but either way they don't get it, it'll all end in tears if the writer doesn't help himself/herself.

I'd like to hear these lyrics put to music.

Subject: Re: SLJ's lyrics and poetry Sun Dec 14, 2014 9:12 pm

I just wanna say that I have read and appreciate everything that's been said here, although I've found only frustration and wasted time staring at an empty text-box whenever I've tried to come up with a worthy response to your reviews. I guess I just don't know what to say when the conversation turns to my lyrics. Again, I have read and will continue to read your reviews, and enjoy them immensely.

That said, I can answer some of your simpler inquiries...

Quote :: You said you were writing between 2009-2013, why not anylonger?

I've only recently begun putting copyright notices on my work, and am unsure of the proper way to do it. Dunno if I'm supposed to put the date I posted it or the date it was written.

Quote :: Do you have any recordings you'd like to share?

Quote :: I'd like to hear these lyrics put to music.

Don't hold your breath. They're coming, but I don't exactly when.

EDIT: I've changed the copyright dates to 2009-2014. I've also labelled each lyric with the date (month/year) it was written.

Subject: Re: SLJ's lyrics and poetry Mon Dec 15, 2014 7:39 am

Got two for ya tonight.
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2/11

EIGHT-THOUSAND HOURS SLEEP… A BLISSFUL COMA

The conscious world is so damn fake
So why do I stay awake?
Surely it’s not for my own sake
‘Cause I stopped caring about myself long ago

There’s nothing I want more than sleep
‘Cause my true home is a dream
Eight thousand hours of deep sleep
Nothing outside of that appeals to me anymore

Why must life be spent with open eyes?
Why can’t I just exist inside?
And live where I am most at peace
Eight thousand hours sleep, at least

I hate more and more things every day
I just want it to go the fuck away
Everything but that dark light, just go away
All I want and need is to just go and stay

Why must life be spent with open eyes?
Why can’t I just exist inside?
And live where I am most at peace
Eight thousand hours sleep, at least

Life is so dead
Just need some rest
Fuck all the rest
Awake in sleep
A blissful coma
Is all I need
Just go away
Just go and stay

Consciousness is more than bleak
I hate this awakening streak
I just want to sleep forever
I just want to sleep forever

Why must life be spent with open eyes?
Why can’t I just exist inside?
And live where I am most at peace
Eight thousand hours sleep, at least
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5/11

KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE SKY

Sun exits sky
But there's still light
It's beneath my hands
Dirt beneath my nails, clouds
Even minus Sun
Moon not yet allowed

Face drops left eye
Right left behind
So it may still cry
For the one that died
Until it's forever covered
Patch over it
That lonely pirate

Why, spirit, why?
Why do you wish I hide?
I'm not a right eye
Not a moon in the sky
Sigh

Sun exits sky
And all left eyes die
Enter moon, enter right side
And all left eyes fry
Even minus Sun

Even minus Sun
Perhaps there's still light
Right beneath my hands
Right beneath my eyes
Left beneath my eyes

Subject: Re: SLJ's lyrics and poetry Tue Jan 27, 2015 8:44 pm

SLJ I still remember your "God?" poem from a few years back, remember I told you I did a musical interpretation, but wasn't able to properly record it. And just last week I got a new mixer and a fairly decent mic, I'll try and remember the song and record it! Great work with these too!